Ocular Torture

I'm doing a lot of things lately that I've always wanted to do since moving to Boston, but never got around to until now. Like going ice skating on the Frog Pond, seeing a Red Sox-Yankees game at Fenway (April 13th, baby!), and going for a run on the Esplanade. Boston is a beautiful place, and living here makes me happy.

But for a moment, I'd like to celebrate my city's ugliness. The Museum of Bad Art is dedicated to the "collection, preservation, exhibition, and celebration of bad art in all its forms." I visited those august halls on Wednesday last. And wow, that art is bad.

So what earns a work of art the label "bad?" It's not just lack of training, as one might assume. Some of the works on view at the MOBA are actually not that horrific in terms of the artist's skill. (Though of course, many of them are.) Some of the artists would certainly be capable of producing "good" art if they tried. What makes a work of art bad is when the artist attempts to create something meaningful, and fails in the execution. Case in point, The Picnic, an unattributed recent acquisition:

On first glance, it's stylistically reminiscent of Frida Kahlo. Kind of. She wasn't necessarily a master of form either, and her paintings don't always make sense unless you look at them within the context of her personal life. But what's the deal with the face-tree, and why does it have an Afro? Is the artist trying to say that the lovers are being watched? And what is the significance of the two boats set adrift on the other side of the channel, one of which looks to be sinking? It is symbolic of their relationship? There's also the question of white and yellow circles around the subjects' heads: halo, or pillow? The wall labels can significantly up a painting's bizarre factor: "Aware that inter-office dating was frowned upon by upper management, the young lovers decided to take an extended lunch break on a private island where they would surely not be seen."

But at least this painting was acquired in a respectable place, the Treasure Chest Thrift Store in Roslindale, rather than from the trash, like so many in the MOBA collection. My buddies and I bestowed upon this painting, untitled and unattributed, the honor of "object we would gladly pay money to avoid hanging on our wall":


If you'd like to visit the MOBA yourself, it's located (appropriately enough) just outside the men's room in the basement of the Dedham Community Theatre, about eight miles south of downtown Boston. For extra credit, try re-enacting the paintings (as below) and send me the pictures.